Why don’t you consider your self as priority?
This topic resonates with so many people whether you are aware of it or not.
As I mentioned in last weeks article:
We make others more important than ourselves and don’t take the effort to help ourselves. What will be left for you to give when you are totally exhausted and having not an ounce of energy left because your health is in tatters?
So why is it we don’t take time to focus on ourselves?
Lets go through some of the reasons why first of all and some action steps needed to get the Focus back on ourselves.
1. Reasoning to yourself ‘why you can’t change’.
You could be telling yourself you need more time, you need more money, your not good enough or your too scared to start. Whatever it may be, the first step is to realise it and be open to change.
Everyday we pin labels on ourselves and what the mind really believes becomes reality. Us as humans will pay attention and think about what our current beliefs are in life or what we have experienced in the past.
Regardless if you think or have thought in your life that your too old, too young, too fat, to weak, too lazy or just plain old not good enough you need to start challenging yourself to some new thoughts daily. If you think one of the above applies to you start with a new thought process each morning when you wake up and before bed. It won’t happen overnight but you keep repeating the positive thought process you might be surprised with the results because with repetition of certain words and thoughts becomes your belief and expectations. Make yourself of first importance and start giving a damn. You only have one life so why not make it happy one.
This is one sure way to hold yourself back from accomplishing a lot in life and/or sabotaging your results. One thing life to take away if you have insecurities is you must jump into your fears and do not shy away from them. Everyone has an insecurity of some sort but not everyone will jump into their fears and break them to build their self esteem and realise they have the potential to get whatever result they want.
e.g If you fear training because of your weight and feel to self conscious to step into a gym to start to fix the issue there are options such as hire a personal trainer to go to your place to start the first 2,4,6 weeks of training or find a place that has like minded people training for the same result as opposed to the big box gyms around.
There is always ways to break your fears but you must take a little action today to start the process. You’ll wonder why you didn’t start it a long time ago once you start.
One of the most common forms of self-sabotage there is.
Impatience leads to rushed jobs, not finishing your tasks, giving up too soon and make rash decisions.
Take the time needed. Be patient and concentrate on small stepping stones each day towards your goal.
4. Fear of Judgment
Being yourself, being honest and being genuine are probably the best ways to find happiness in yourself. People love being around genuine and honest people. It creates comfort for that person being around you.
It is a common trait to avoid certain risks in life for the fact you feel you might be judged for it.
Think about it for a second: Who do you think judges you if you were to try something different? Maybe it’s the fact that the people you feel are judging you are just unhappy in their own life.
Don’t let anyone’s judgement stop you from trying to accomplish a new goal that you dream to reach simply because they criticise why you want that goal or think you will not succeed. Its unfortunate that people try to put barriers in your way simply because of their own jealousy or insecurity issues.
5. I can’t forgive myself for what I have done in the past?
Punishing yourself for what happened in the past wont change anything. Unfortunately this is such a common occurrence for people’s lives. Refusing to let go of our past regardless of the events that took place keeps you in a frame of mind to sabotage your own efforts in moving forward.
You can’t change anything and just saying to let go of certain events is not enough. You need to create steps in place to focus on change for the better and writing down some positive goals is the start to moving forward. Start appreciating yourself more and make the time necessary to give your health and fitness and time it requires. Your inner self will love you for it.
6. It will take too long
Lets get straight to an example here, as this is a common reason for people.
Lets say your goal is to lose 20kg of weight and you don’t really have an idea how long so you find a qualified trainer to direct you and help you towards your goal but you hear that it might take you 6 months of hard work to accomplish this. You agree but inside you thought you could do it in 4 weeks or at least that’s what you wanted to hear.
Unfortunately this is one that comes up quite often and could be in the same category as Impatience.
If you don’t start he process today and realise it will take a little longer than you might think then chances are another year will pass and you are still procrastinating about it.
Take action now and start today to become the best you can be for yourself. You will feel great, look great, increase your self confidence and walk with a whole new take on life.
7. Unable to say NO
Is it the case of you wanting approval before you start something or could be that you can’t say NO to everyone around you asking for your help. You could be the world’s best baby sitter, nurse and helper to everyone around you but seem to feel your being taken advantage of. Take some time still to focus on your priorities. Don’t make the excuse of I have no time. Life is busy but everyone has time, its how you plan your day. Learn to say NO sometimes and take responsibility for your health.
Jealousy as a whole can be self-defeating but the form of jealousy that is bound to defeat you is Jealousy of what others have.
Focusing on this is a sure way train yourself on what you don’t have and take the focus off what you need to do to achieve your outcome.
Also with this kind of attitude it is known that people who are jealous of others tend to dislike the person who has achieved their goals.
In order to overcome this you must let go of this jealousy and be happy for the successes. The more you do this and the more you can discover techniques moving you closer to your desired outcome.
You have formed a belief pattern not to express your feeling, goals and interests.
If you want a result, step it out, plan it well and give it a realistic timeframe instead of saying if I haven’t lost 10kg in the next 2 weeks this training does not work for me.
Take away notes:
Before you go take the time to ask yourself if any of this has been about certain aspects in your life? If it has then it is a good idea to bring those to the surface before any real progress can be made.
On a sheet of paper on your own fill out any of your self-defeating attitudes, beliefs, fears, feelings?
Next to each one write a brief description about what effect this has on your own life?
Now plan out on another sheet of paper your list of goals and what changes you need to implement in your life to work your way towards these.
e.g. I want to lose 10kg of weight is your goal.
Action step 1. Plan a good program and dietary regime. Contact a qualified Trainer if I need help and set out micro progress goals along the way.
Action step 2. Once my plan is set ill start preparing my training days/times and meals.
Action step 3. Be accountable to my family or Trainer or Friends. It doesn’t matter whom. Just make sure the person or people you keep yourself accountable to are supportive and will keep you in the positive frame of mind towards your goal.
Action step 4. Stay on track and keep your goals close so you see them every morning and night before bed
If you want change but are waiting for a perfect day you might be disappointed. Start making the changes now. There is no better time to start than right NOW!